Here at Office Co., we specialize in streamlining workplace existence through our patented Nothingware™ systems. Since ████, our employees have enjoyed the satisfaction of completing tasks so meaningless, even they forget why they started. With 100% adherence to Policy Handbooks (volumes 1-427), we guarantee a work environment free from surprises, creativity, or any sense of joy.
“Our patented Nothingware™ system eliminates the need for decision-making. Just follow Procedure 985-BRT and thrive!”
“Open-floor plans ensure constant surveillance—er, collaboration. Remember: Your desk is your world.”
“Proudly enforcing mediocrity since ████. Join the 99.9% of employees who don’t complain!”