Where we pretend to work, and you pretend to care.
BREAKING: New policy bans all non-beige office decor.REMINDER: Ventilation ducts are NOT for employee use.UPDATE: Elevator music upgraded to 20% more motivational.REMINDER: All pens must be checked out from HR. Unauthorized writing is a fireable offense.
Current productivity: ▶▶ 100% ◀◀ (BASELINE ADJUSTED)